from the Mailbag...

[Note: There was a picture of the "letter writer" included but I just couldn't stand to look at her, so I didn't post it. --Gunslinger]


Dear American Taxpayer,

I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain.

My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time. Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500..00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury hotel.

Thank you also for the use of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times. By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol, I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella; great lobster with rice and oysters!

Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate according to Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon.

I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days.

Cordially,

Michelle Obama

P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip to India !

P.S. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha's Vineyard; it was fabulous. And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our dog Bo to Martha's Vineyard so we and the children could have him with us while we were away from the White House for eleven days.

P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgotto thank you all for our "date weekend" in New York and to say thanks also for our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000 square foot house was great!

And finally, thanks for asking, we had a great time taking Air Force One to Chicago to tape our segment with Oprah a couple weeks ago, replete with full security, a separate plane for armored limosines and a full contingent of assistants.

Remember we all have to share the pain of these economic times equally!

"Michelle Antoinette."

Damn. Why didn't I think of that.
(Credit: Anthony, commenter at American Spectator.)

The Gunslinger
(Zombie Killer)

ME-shell's Face

There is something about ME-shell Øbama that I find creepily unattractive. Yes, she has that sort of "hulking" posture tall women sometimes adopt. And she never looks like her clothes actually FIT her in the way they should on someone who has access to the tailor/dressmaker of her dreams 24/7.

And yes her teeth are too big...they sort of push out so that it looks like it would be an actual effort to keep her mouth closed over them.

And yes, her eyes are deep set, and in some photos appear to be different sizes, which contributes to the lack of balance - and hence the lack of beauty - of her features.

And over all she has a bit of a flat face, like a pug. The apples of her cheeks and the end of her nose are very nearly on the same plane.

But, here's the real thing…

On the picture below, Barry and 'Shell are both smiling. If you cover up the 'Bamster's face below the eyes, you can see the smile reaches his eyes. He's really smiling.

Now, do the same to ME-shell. Her eyes, when viewed alone - without the rictus mouth - look angry.

There's a disconnect between the expression of her mouth and that of her eyes. It's unsettling. And hackle-raising. If only on a sub-conscious level. And that's creepy.

Seriously, People...

Is this Hulking Goblin, ME-shell, under the impression that she looks "cool" or attractive? I think the Slobbering media's ecstasies about her arms has gone to her head like sleeping sickness.

The stupid slob is totally clueless.

She is not the "First Lady"!

She's just the "Resident's Old Lady"

The Gunslinger, EOTIS
Para Bellum

"The Ego Has Landed"

(Rush's line, and Drudge's Headline)

Apparently the "Rock Stars" (according to the U.S. Slobbering Fringe Media) who were the glowing brilliance in Copenhagen over whom the entire IOC could hardly contain their gushing (according to the U.S. Slobbering Fringe Media)...

("Michelle Takes Copenhagen by Storm" - CNN headline)

...and who each gave brilliant, scene-stealing speeches—about themselves...

...were rejected by the racists in Denmark.

And the U.S. Slobbering Fringe Media is beside itself in disbelief.

I am smugly amused and generally delighted by the result. Watching the grotesque (my new favorite word) egos of these two narcissists get slapped down in a world forum was emotionally satisfying to a degree I would be ashamed of if either of them had ever displayed the slightest patriotism and love of country, concern or respect for its people and their welfare, or the smallest understanding that they are not, as America's First Couple, supposed to behave like jet-set Euro-Trash royalty.

The Fringe Media is actually using the word "Failure" and "Humiliation" in their shocked headlines...juxtaposed with the sacred name, "Obama".

They will, no doubt, correct that as soon as they come to their senses. But for the first time since they became aware of their Messiah, they are being inadvertently truthful about him.

The "reverend" Jesse Jackson wants to know "what happened". He is "shocked and saddened" that what he calls America's "A-Team", the 'Bamster and ME-shell, could possibly have come away empty-handed. Rush joked that he will demand an investigation.

The U.S. Slobbering Fringe Media Myth that these two are the ultimate power couple—stylish, European, sophisticated, and internationally adored World Citizens—has been exposed as the fraud it has always been.

And it makes me feel just a little warm and fuzzy inside.

This is what it looks like in the foreign press:

Rio de Janeiro is to host the first Olympic Games in South America."International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge made the announcement in Copenhagen today, to the bitter humiliation of Barack Obama. The U.S. president was embarrassed on the world stage after the IOC rejected his very personal bid for the 2016 Olympic Games to be hosted in his home town of Chicago.

Oh, and don't you just feel terrible that all ME-shell's sacrifice was in vain?

The Gunslinger
Enemy of the Imperial State

"Sacrifice!"

Poor, poor, Michelle. This sainted martyr willingly agreed to the unpleasant, torturous ORDEAL of flying with assistants, friends & celebrities, on a private plane, to eat, drink, shop...and be feted in Denmark.

For the children.

Aren't you glad you're not called upon to give so much for your country? I'm sure the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq are humbled by her desperate selflessness.

Can we get a yellow ribbon sticker with her name on it. Or maybe a MIA bracelet?

In her speech in Copenhagen today, First Lady Michelle Obama said her trip to Denmark, along with the travel of her "dear friend" and "chit-chat buddy" Oprah Winfrey, as well as tomorrow's visit by President Obama, is a "sacrifice" on behalf of the children of Chicago and the United States. "As much of a sacrifice as people say this is for me or Oprah or the president to come for these few days," the first lady told a crowd of people involved in the Chicago project, "so many of you in this room have been working for years to bring this bid home."

Henceforth she shall be known as: ME-shell.

The Gunslinger

* Glenn Beck calls this "grotesque". And it is. Grotesque Excess. Are the Øbamas America's Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette?

"Let Them Eat Cake"

It's tough being Black in America.

Just ask Micki O.

Only one word comes to mind.
Okay two: Chutzpah and Cronyism
Okay, four: Vulgarly extravagant
Okay, five: But I don't use that word...

Welcome to the New Chicago Mob!

The Gunslinger
Enemy of the Imperial State (EOTIS)