Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Gray Davis redux

Today's blog is dated. But I just ran across it, and I liked reading it, so I thought I'd share. I wrote it the day after the re-election of Gray Davis for governor...before the successful recall election that replaced him with Arnold. The hot news at the time was a debate about the execution (in Texas?) of a low -IQ, psychotic murdrer, and the black/muslim D.C. snipers.

California is NOT impressed by 9/11. We're much more concerned with the civil rights of child-molesters and illegal aliens, and protecting the tender sensibilities of paper-skinned victims from anyone's "innapropriate" speech. We should have let Mexico keep it.

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Well, congratulations California. A perfect Democratic sweep! We stand out among all the states in the nation as a bastion of the uncompromising Left. We were not fooled by 9/11. We know it was a plot of the military-industrial complex to try to force us into an unjust war in Viet-Nam....er...the Middle East. It's blood for oil. And we hate that. We don’t use energy.

The Fascist Right tried to tell us that Gray Davis is a corrupt, money-grubbing, dirty-mouthed, sell-out who'll do ANYTHIING to maintain power. But we know better. He's the one remaining shining example of the ethos of the Left. A beacon of hope in a nation gone mad. Like the misunderstood, beseiged Saddam Hussein and the benighted, well-meaning Nobel-laureate Yasser Arafat, the honorable Gray Davis is constantly maligned by conservatives whose idea of good government is to let people who work really hard for their money keep most of it! What an intolerant slap in the face to people who find hard work unsatisfying and as a private, personal choice opt out of the vicious cycle of work, get a paycheck, pay their own way, work, get a paycheck, pay their own way…

Yes, we Californian's have escaped the brainwashing that holds the rest of the country in bondage. We know that they are the victims of a pernicious scam, the propaganda of two centuries that convinced them that the United States is a country based on liberty, opportunity, justice and virtue. We are told the constitution forbids a state established religion, but we know the Christian Right is running the national agenda. Just look at our tainted money: "In God We Trust". There’s even a judge who wants to post the Ten Commandments in his courtroom. And they want to force our children to endure a moment of silence in classrooms in case some wish to PRAY! If that isn’t religious tyranny, I don’t know what is. I think any honest person would admit that teaching sexual abstinance to sixth grade girls is the first step on the slippery slope that leads to head-shooting women in soccer stadia for adultery. It’s obvious they both stem from the same root cause: fear of female sexuality.

And amid all this irresponsible talk of terrorists, bombs and weapons of mass destruction, we on the Left know that words are more deadly than bullets. Instead of beating the drum for another state sponsored murder in the racist South, we are quietly grateful that the D.C. snipers didn't use any inappropriate language. Had they descended into the use of hurtful words, rather than just murdering people, unimaginable pain may have resulted. Instead of the mere loss of life, people might have struggled for years to recover from the harmful effects of being spoken to inappropriately. It could have been devastating.

Yes, my fellow California voters, I thank you for this opportunity to stand with you, tall and proud, as the last hope of a dying ideal. It is comforting to know that in an evil world, I live in a haven where idiots and the insane are, indeed, allowed to vote.

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(A shame you can't just shoot the bastards)

The Gunslinger

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