The Cretinous Crud Creeps

They've already outlawed all the guns in Scotland. So people are killing each other with swords. Completely unexpected, totally unanticipated, I'm sure. The utterly unintended consequences of boobery in high places.

Their response to the obvious failed policy? Well, naturally, they're outlawing swords.

Here's what Detective Chief Superintendant John Carnochan has to say: "People must realize that swords cause horrific injuries when they get into the wrong hands."

What part of "duh" doesn't the guy understand?

Of course, horrific injuries have been caused by baseball bats, heavy lamps, serving platters, pitchers, goblets, pots, pans, pokers, rolling pins, meat cleavers, sewing needles, knitting needles, crystal bowls, statues, rocks, bottles, two-by-fours, fishing hooks, electrical wire, piano wire, ropes, handcuffs, car batteries, bleach, oven cleaner, ammonia, drain clearers, heavy books, light sockets, electrical outlets, bodies of water, automobiles, motorcycles, buses, trucks, boats, bridges, pens, pencils, metal rulers, snow mobiles, ice skates, broken glass, hammers, hoes, rakes, shovels, power hedge trimmers, chain-saws, steak knives, carving knives, serving forks, razor blades, box cutters, paint scrapers, ice-cicles, stalagtites and stalgmites, kitchen chairs, bar stools, pool cues, screwdrivers, hand saws, circular saws, table saws, sewing scissors, kitchen shears, hockey sticks, fists, feet, knees, elbows, foreheads, teeth, bricks, cigarette lighters, nail files, metal files, sharp sticks and tennis rackets, hair spray and matches, ski poles, and golf clubs.

(make your own list)

I guess we can expect a ban on these too. Apparently the Nannies are going to "adult-proof" Scotland. I guess the formerly fierce Highlanders will be allowed to have pillow-fights.

William Wallace is doing subterranean pirouettes.

(Too bad you can't just shoot the bastards, while we've still got OUR guns!)

The Gunslinger