Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Lighter Side - Mailbag

9 WORDS WOMEN USE - that you should understand...


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.


(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.


(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').


(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying GO TO HELL


(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

You're welcome.

The Gunslinger

4 comments:

  1. This is going up on the fridge right next to my WhiteTrashRepairs.com chart!! Between fixing stuff and talking to women, that covers most of the known universe. And to think, I didn't even have to pay a subscription fee for such invaluable information. Thank you Gunny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for spreading the funny,as well..."Taming of the Shrew" is a favorite Shakespeare play,tho some pc-types don't get the irony...I see this in some recent sit-coms like "Til Death","The Middle",etc. Men and Women,and their so-called "battle"...Best source for comedy...

    ReplyDelete
  3. And the tenth,
    "We need to talk."
    Meaning, one way or another, you aren't going to be happy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha ha.

    When I was trying to distance myself from a "suitor", a male friend suggest I tell him: "We have to talk".

    Claimed it would chase him right away...

    ReplyDelete