Twitter Conversation with Chris, started because some idiot Liberal bloviated thus:
"What I am against is semi-automatic weapons intended or modified specifically to kill people."
My initial response was, "You realize that doesn't even make sense. One cannot modify a gun to "kill people". A gun is a gun. Mugger or meat."
But then I had a idea, and tweeted thrice. That's when Chis chimed in on the narrative, and things got funny...
Me
Go to anti-gun sites, and AS A GUN OWNER, lie like mad about guns...so they'll gleefully quote you & look really stupid everywhere.
Me
On anti-gun sites, say you just picked up a full-auto machine gun at your local gun shop & that it has special human-heat-seeking capacity.
Me
A "semi-auto" shoots 5000 rounds a second, only hits innocent people, and you don't even have to pull the trigger!
Chris
And if you're a repeat customer, you can buy MX missiles and rocket launchers
Me
I just bought a tank. Fucked up my driveway putting it in my garage, though.
Chris
Shit, you got a tank! #jealous
Me
Yep, put it on the old Visa, and drove it home...
Chris
Nice, maybe i'll buy a M777 with paypal :-)
Me
LOL...Now you're talking! I'm thinking B-2 Stealth. But I might need a home equity loan.
Chris
Fuck it, I'm selling a kidney, blood for a Death Star!
Me
Everybody in my office is staring at me....I'm laughing so loud. Dude...though this was not a competition...YOU WIN!
• • •
And without further ado, I award Chris the Gold Star for best Tall Tale Exaggeration!
/gun
Joebama American citizens 2024 print
1 year ago
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