Monday, February 11, 2013

Not the Prom

I know I'm getting old.

Everyone at the Grammies, with the exception of a few Country Stars looked like an idiot.

Why is it necessary to be naked? Who thinks that makes you look better?

Who thinks that just because you're naked you're "hot"?

Okay, I get it, 17-year-old boys. Are they the demograhic for the entire music industry?

Look, I didn't even watch the show, so I should probably shut up, but you can't escape the replay of the photos. And like someone driving by a car wreck, I find my self slowing down to take a look at the destruction and debris.

I remember when I was a kid, looking weird was cool. Of course, we all looked weird the same way, so we were really all conformists. Defeated the whole purpose, looked like idiots...who didn't have a single original thought among us...

Then we grew up. Well. Some of us did.

Apparently nothing has changed.

Well, except these are grownups by and large. (I use the term loosely.)

It's painful to look at these people who are trying so hard.  It's sort of exhausting, really.

It's a freak-show.

I don't understand why every woman wants to expose as much of her breasts (and her crotch) as she can....just like every other woman there. What, exactly, is the point of that? To stand out? Of course they don't because everyone else is doing the same thing. They just end up becoming one of a hundred tit racks:  a nameless, faceless, bedazzled rack upon which tits are displayed.

Dehumanized. Undifferentiated.

Who wants this?

Why are they so stupid?

I have this idea: Put on clothes that make you look nice. That make you look pretty. Clothes that might accentuate your face, your eyes, your smile. Clothes that might make someone look at something above your chest (or crotch!)

There's a way to stand out from the crowd. Might be the way to go.

People would take you so much more seriously, think of you as an adult. Give you respect.

As it is, if I'm any judge (and I'm not) people are trying not to laugh at you, because you look so ridiculous, affected, silly and desperate to be noticed and so mindlessly conforming.

As to the men. What can you say? Comb your hair. Wash. Act your age. You all look like hobos. Yes, I get it. You're hipsters. God, save me from the painful pretentiousness of hipsters.

Ironic? They look like dweebs, conformists and girly-men, and, lo, they are dweebs, conformists and girly-men. There is no irony here.

Oh yes, and they all look the same. Sigh. I suppose we can be thankful they're not all exposing their penises the way the women do their boobs...but that's a pretty low bar for gratitude.

And finally, can I just say, Johnny Depp, you are too old to look like this. It stopped being charming and quirky 20 years ago. Buy a fucking suit & tie. That fits. You have the money.


P.S. Am I alone in wanting to strangle the next idiot I see with one of those "scarves"?

(Babies are going naked in Africa & Bangladesh because so much fabric is being wasted around the necks of these twits. You could look it up.)

1 comment:

  1. Long scarves only belong on the 4th doctor. Yup. I'm neither hip nor with it. And while I enjoy a nice pair of mammary glands as much as the next guy, when nothing is left to the imagination, I'm no longer interested.