You Can't Make This Shit Up

Øbama wants you to know he's on this self-defense thing. In fact, his government...the Homeland Security Department...has created a video explaining just what you should do if you find yourself faced with a crazed mass killing shooter, and are in the line of fire.

Scissors.

Really. Here's the story.

“If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available,” says the narrator in the video, which shows an office worker pulling scissors out of a desk drawer.

The video, titled “Options for Consideration,” also advises that people who get caught in an “active shooter” situation should run away, hide under a desk or take cover out of the line of fire.

Firearm? Pshaw! Don't be ridiculous!

/Gun