Body Sovereignty

I hate doctors. No, wait. Not fair. Reboot. I hate "Health Care Professionals".*

I put that in scare quotes because they are generally no such thing. In my experience they are arrogant assholes who actually think they are smarter and more worthy of respect than anyone else.

And not only doctors, but nurses,  nurse-practitioners, medical techs,  lab drones, medical receptionists and probably janitors who clean medical clinics.

The minute you enter their domain, they expect total submission, total respect, total obedience. They get very discombobulated if you don't act like a plantation house slave in their presence.

So, naturally, I fuck with them anytime I can.

It's fun telling them "no". They simply never hear it. They stare blankly, mouth open, close to drooling...unsure how to react. Watching the emotions spin across their faces as you tell them what you require for a given procedure rather than meekly obeying their dictates is almost worth the price of admission.

Try it.

Here's an idea: Don't let them use that fucking machine to take your blood pressure. It hurts like hell...a lot worse than when they do it manually. They like it, of course, and no doubt they'll tell you it's because it's more accurate. But mostly, I suspect, it's because it's just a lot easier for them.

Refuse to allow them to use it. Demand someone do it manually. Then watch as they try to process the fact that you have an opinion and a demand, and they are actually not getting their unquestioned way. Amusing.

Someone in the department will still know how to take blood pressure. Insist. They will eventually bend to your will. And maybe they'll even be a little afraid of you the next time you come in. And that's a good thing.

The Gunslinger

*Dentists, on the other hand, are generally pretty cool.