A Law of Physics

There have been several stories today about Conservative politicians endorsing Barack Obama.

The latest one is "London's Conservative Mayor Endorses Obama".

Ignoring the complete irrelevance of that story with regard to an American election, let me say this: Conservative people do not endorse Barack Obama. Barack Obama is a Marxist. Conservative people don't endorse Marxists. Really. It just isn't done.

Now I don't mean "It just isn't done", as in "Polite society frowns on it". I mean "It can't be done", as in "It is a virtual impossibility."

If someone claiming to be a Conservative endorses Barack Obama, he is, by definition, revealing himself to be a NON-Conservative.

Let me put this another way. If a "christian" endorses Satan, it would be fairly clear that the self-identified "christian" is not a Christian.

Now, whether the "conservatives" quoted as endorsing Obama are self-described "conservatives", (in which case they are lying or self-deluded), or press-described "conservatives" (in which case they are erroneously defined by a simple-minded media) you can trust me on this categorical statement: THEY. ARE. NOT. CONSERVATIVES.

Under no circumstances, in no universe, in no dimension, on no planet, will a Conservative endorse Obama.

Indeed, should a sadly-afflicted Conservative actually lose his mind sufficiently to endorse Obama, the very act of doing so would immediately strip him of his Conservative credentials. He would, in other words, no longer be a Conservative.

It is physically impossible for a Conservative to endorse Obama. Being a Conservative and being an Obama endorser are mutually exclusive, on a sub-atomic level. To be one is automatically NOT to be the other.

The existence of a Conservative (matter) who is also an Obama endorser (anti-matter) would rupture the laws of physics causing a distortion in the space-time continuum such that the world, as we know it, would end.

Thus, it is a physical as well as a political and moral impossibility. So when some malicious gossip tries to tell you that a Conservative has endorsed Obama, rest assured, if you are still standing on the revolving Earth, breathing oxygen...it did not happen.

The Gunslinger