A Modest Proposal

My friend Pete just sent me the following "Newest Canadian Rant". It prompted this idea:

All the Conservatives from Canada and America get together and have a sit-down with all the Liberals from Canada and America. We'll flip a coin to see which country the Convervatives get, and which the Liberals get. Then, we'll each move to the country we won. The Conservatives will build big electrified border fences with machine gun towers.

When the Liberals' unopposed open borders policy finally results in a Muslim population that exceeds 50% and the institution of Sharia Law, the commies, gays, teachers' unions, Hollywood whores, cowards, perverts and atheists...um...won't be a problem anymore.

Finally, going to war with a neighboring country is much cheaper. And without all the harping, nancy Liberals, we can actually fight it to win! We'll bomb the Muslims into paradise, annex the country for Conservative colonization...and voilá, we'll have BOTH countries back!

And any surviving Liberals will be undoubtedly be "former" Liberals and quite happy to see us.

The Gunslinger

The Newest Canadian Rant

My name is James and I AM CANADIAN ..or to be more correct, maybe I
should say Euro-Canadian, eh!

I am a minority in Vancouver, Toronto and almost every casino in this
country.

I was born in 1958, yet I am (obviously) responsible for some Natives
being "screwed" out of "their" land back in the 1700's. Not only must I
support them with 'treaty' money I must make sure they NEVER pay any
taxes in this country.

I pay import tax anywhere in CANADA on cars made right here in the
province of Ontario.

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a
seat belt.

ALL the money I make until mid July goes to pay various municipal,
provincial and federal taxes.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a
pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes helped purchase a
nice seven figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly threatening to separate,
Quebec still provides most my nation's Prime Ministers.

About 95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish, or
animals that eat fish!

I'm supposed to call black people African-Canadians, although I'm sure
none of them have
ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for that matter.

I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol must be fair, because that's
how much tax I pay on gasoline!

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather
gave me when I was 14, I am considered a criminal if I don't register
it.

I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the
rest of Canada is fair, while Quebec spends several million trying to
eliminate all signs in English in the Province of Quebec.

I believe that paying $30 million for a painting of 3 red and blue
stripes ("The Voice of Fire" in the National Art Gallery) was a very
canny purchase, even though 99% of the people in this country didn't
want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pay stub and realize that only I take home a third of
what I make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than
the Americans," even though I know delays in the waiting rooms could
kill me first!

I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry because
(apparently) I control the rain.

My national anthem has versions in both official languages and after so
many changes I don't know the words in either one of them.

Canada has the largest civil service per capita in North America, with a
tiny military, but we can brag that Quebec is the No. 1 destination of
fleeing terrorists. [much like France is in Europe]

I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer whose elected
representatives have made sure I am usually broke.

My name is James, and I AM CANADIAN.

And that is probably why I drink so much Canadian beer, eh!