Here's something I don't like to admit, but a lot of women have trouble with the whole "ignore what they say; judge by what they do" thing.
Too often women will stay with a man if he proclaims his love...even if he treats her badly. Women tend to be verbal communicators. Maybe we trust it too much.
One day, I found myself, while talking to my girlfriends about a very unsatisfactory set of experiences with a "boyfriend"...starting to say..."If only he had said he loved me, it wouldn't be so bad putting up with his bad treatment".
Though I was humiliated to even have had such a thought. I am proud to say I never finished the sentence. When I actually realized what was about to come out of my mouth, I had one of those lightening strike realizations...one of those life-altering epiphanies. I was incensed that I could ever have thought such a thing...and vowed that never again would I ever allow pretty words to obscure bad behavior.
From that moment on I have judged men based on how they make me feel...how they treat me...what they DO...never what honey they speak.
It's worked out. The brutal realization of how enslaved I was to seductive words shocked me into seeing past them. Until we have that realization, though...it's hard to see through the mass of hearts and flowers and poems and sticky sugar.
It took me longer to learn that the same rule must apply to everyone. Not just lovers, but friends, family, salemen...and most of all...scumbags...er...politicians.
The Gunslinger
Joebama American citizens 2024 print
9 months ago
A very rich (but not necessarily wise, except in this instance) person once said:
ReplyDelete"When someone shows, you who they are, believe them - the first time."
Whne I heard that, I almost cried from the brutality of that simple truth. I agree that women in particular are easily swayed by the words while choosing to ignore the deeds. I know I have. Embarrassing, but true.
A very wise, but unrich, person once told me:
"The right thing and the easy thing are very rarely the same thing."
I appreciate and commend your choice to live the truth. ;-)
You remind me of another wise saying.
ReplyDeleteA grandfather responding to his grown grandson's pontificating that thing's weren't black and white, but shades of gray said, "If you're seeing shades of gray, you're not looking close enough to see the black and white dots."
Yes, yes, lessons learned and not.
ReplyDeleteSo simple when they eventually dawn on us.