My Candidate

Look. I'm in NO mood. I need to vent.

I want a candidate for president who'll say:

"Who the hell do these Muslims and Mexicans think they are, threatening and invading my country? Enough is enough. If I'm elected, I'll close the borders, suspend immigration from non-white countries indefinitely, and immediately deport every illegal alien in the US. I will do it by retraining every employee of the IRS to work for the INS. I'll require a trade or profession, and college education for every person seeking to enter America, and they will be fitted with a welded-on locator bracelet until they complete the new, expanded requirements for citizenship, and take their oaths, renouncing citizenship or loyalty to any other nation. The INS will be in the business of finding, terrorizing, rounding up, interrogating, intimidating, shooting if necessary, and deporting illegals. They will no longer be welcome-wagon travel agents. I will immediately revoke all student visas. All the children of Europe, Canada, the UK, New Zealand, Australia, Japan and India have perfectly nice schools to go to. The rest will just have to fake it.

"Upon my inauguration, I will order the invasion of Iran and Syria, after softening them up with a couple of small nukes. I will give the oil fields to my friends in "Big Oil", with the requirement that gas will be sold cheap in the U.S., subsidized by higher prices for everybody else (with the exception of those countries listed above). North Korea won't get any, and China will be rationed. I will issue Executive Orders approving torture as a legitimate intelligence gathering tool in the Islamic War, and ordering the assassination of the head, and the razing of the capital city, of any state that provides money, support, succor, arms, shelter, respite, food, sanctuary or good press to our enemies. I will REQURE racial, ethnic, and religious profiling by all law enforcement, whether city cops, state troopers, FBI, Border Patrol or Airport Security. I will issue National Guardsmen bullets. I will bomb Al Jazeera.

"I will institute a total blockade of all arms, vehicles, and technology, including small white pickup trucks, video equipment, CDs, cell phones, ipods and electric can-openers to all Muslim countries. They can have what they make. Nations or organizations who break the blockage will be declared enemies of the United States and subjected to the penalties listed above.

"I will order New York City to condemn the United Nations building. Every foreign delegation will have 1 week to leave the country before they are subject to arrest as illegal aliens. They will be assigned an armed guard detail "for their own protection" until they leave or are arrested and deported. The empty building will donated to the Disney Corporation and retrofitted for their 'It's a Small World' attraction. It will do more for international brotherhood than the United Nations ever did. The United States will no longer maintain membership nor pay for the United Nations. If the rest of the world wants to continue the charade, they can build a headquarters in another country, and try to pay for it themselves. I will bomb Kofi-Anan's limo."

Now, THAT's a guy I would vote for!

(We need a President who is willing to just shoot the bastards!)

The Gunslinger