Insurance Company: "Kill the Animals!"

My insurance rates just went up $400 a year because I didn't kill a small animal. I drove off the road onto what appeared to be a flat patch of ice-plant to avoid hitting one.

Apparently the city landscaper has a sense of humor. Hidden under the ice-plant was a ditch big enough to eat the front end of my new Scion. $2100 worth.

My agent said that if I'd sustained the damage HITTING the animal, it would have been covered by the "comprehensive" part of my policy and wouldn't have triggered a premium increase. Because I did it AVOIDING the animal, that's "collision" and my premiums will be $200 higher every 6 months for three years.

I hope that damn animal has a long and happy life on my 1,200 bucks.

And I hope the insurance company executives die gruesome, bloody deaths from vicious small animal attacks.

(Unfortunately, you can't just shoot the bastards.)

The Gunslinger